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If I were a month I would be: October for my birfday and Halloween
If
I were a day of the week I would be: Kick Odie Across the Room Day! Also known in some cultures as Saturday.
If I
were a time of day I would be: That time when it's rully late, and you're so half-asleep and brain-dead that you're slap-happy
and hyper.
If I were a planet I would be: Pluto. The weird one, way off there.
If I were a sea animal I would
be: A giant squid. Who wouldn't want to have eyeballs the size of, what, volleyballs?
If I were a direction I would
be: Go left when you get to the bank.
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: A computer desk.
If I were a historical
figure I would be: Emily Dickinson, or if I was a guy- Edgar Allan Poe.
If I were a liquid I would be: Blood
If I were
a stone, I would be: The kind that spaces out and forgets stuff. Oh, stone! Not stoner. My bad. Uh...
what was the question?
If I were a tree, I would be: Ent.
If I were a bird, I would be: Raven.
If I were a tool,
I would be: Circular saw, because they look so bitchin'.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: A rully sharp rose that
can go through concrete- but it must be black.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: Humid.
If I were a mythical
creature, I would be: Elf
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: Bass guitar.
If I were an animal, I would be:
Cat.
If I were a color, I would be: Black.
If I were an emotion, I would be: Horny
If I were a vegetable, I would
be: Fries
If I were a sound, I would be: Evul cackling
If I were an element, I would be: Nickel
If I were a car,
I would be: hearse, painted by the Electric Mayhem
If I were a song, I would be: Wind-up Toy by Alice Cooper
If I were
a movie, I would be directed by: Kevin Smith
If I were a book, I would be written by: Edgar Allan Poe
If I were a food,
I would be: ramen
If I were a place, I would be: Mordor
If I were a material, I would be: The stuff that feels good
when you rub it one way, but feels funky if you rub it the other way. No, this is not supposed to mean anything.
I just like that material.
If I were a taste, I would be: Tasteless
If I were a scent, I would be: Mulberry
If I
were a religion, I would be: Witchcraft
If I were a word, I would be: crzy
If I were an object, I would be: a computer
If
I were a body part I would be: fingers
If I were a facial expression I would be: Blank
If I were a subject in school
I would be: English
If I were a cartoon character I would be: Invader Zim
If I were a shape I would be: Circle
If
I were a number I would be: 13. No, 7. No, 13. No...
If I were a card, I would be: That one with the
farmer guy dying his pigs like how you dye eggs on easter, for no other reason than that the guy's name was Floyd.
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